confession of an athiest.

hello god,

how do you do?? bhalo acho?
obak hochho na?? amr chithi peye?? bhabcho j chheleta amake manei na se abr ajke amake dake keno??

bolchi bolchi....

jano ami eksomoy tomake khub mene choltam. tomar hoito kajer chap e mone nei, but amar mone ache... ami aj porjonto tomar kache kichuichai ni nijer jonnyo... ekbar i kichu cheyechilam.. ekta pran cheyechilam.. seta bodhoi tomar hisaber khatai thik mele ni.tai tumi amake dao ni... sedin thekei tumi amar kache oi abstract algebra r motoi abstract.. bastobe jar kono value nei.

tahole aj ki holo re baba??!!!

ajke ami tomar kache ekta confession korbo. sunbe to tumi?? sobai bole tumi naki sobar onnyai khhoma kore dao.. parle amakeo khhoma kore dio....

bolte paro god? keno tumi amake barbar ei porikhhai fele dao??
jekhane amake decide korte hoi barebare bhalobasa naki attosomman?? bondhutyo naki amar jiboner mulyobodh?? keno ??keno?? keno??

ajkeo amake tumi abar eki kaj korale?? ajke ami or sathe sob somporko chhere dilam, hoito sara jiboner moto ami oke haralam... o ar fire asbe na hoito konodin o.. kintu keno o erokom korlo?? jano ki tumi? bolbe amake bujhie?? ami aj tomar samne darie achi.. amr bibek ar tumi r keu na !!! bolo na amake plz .. ektibar bolo j o erkm ta kore ni, plz plz plz bolo amake, jodi mithya hoi tao bolo... hasi pachhe na tomar?? ami sara jibon sottir kotha bolechi ar aj?? ha aj ami sunte chai etai.. jodi mithya hoi setai sunte chai.. tobuo tumi bolo amake ekbar bolo j o eta kore ni ??!!!

bhogoban.. tomar deshe ki arektu khani jaiga ache?? tahole amake dako na?? taratari kore dakbe?? ami r parchi na.. r keu na januk tumi to jano ami ki bhabe beche achi.. ar ajke? jeta korar age ami nijer hat ta kete felte partam, setai tumi amake dye korale?? kiser jonnyo?

keno? keno? keno??

ha ami ajke oporadh korechi.. tumi jodi amake paro tahole khhoma kore dio.. r ektu daya korbe? amake deke nao.
ami r parbo na. j alotar jonnyo ami beche thaktam take to ami nijer hatei nivie dyechi. ami sara jibon bachte cheyechilam... aj r chaina.. sotti bolchi chaina.chaina. chaina... plz plz amake deke nao bhogoban plz

asha kori tumi amr dak sunbe. sunbe to?? konodin o sono ni. aj ekbar suno. tumi dekho r ami tomai dakbo na. ekbar sono.sudhu ekbar... ekbar..

eti,

tomar i ek oporadhi chhele



punoscho: arekta kotha bolbo? o jekhanei thak oke bhalo rekho, o bhalo thak, amake bhule jak, amar bhage tomar jetuku ashirbad chilo seta okei dye dio.. etukui bolbo sudhu

bristi- dhoa

bhalobasa holo ciggeratte er motoi
sudhu pure jaoa buk ta theke jai
ure jai sukher dhoa

hothat ei dhoa-sha? jano to ami ajke prothom smoke korlam. seta keno likhchi?? bolchi.

ciggeratte khete khete khub bhalo lagchilo jano !! khuuub bhalo lagchilo, jokhon ure jaoa dhoatar dike takie chilam tokhon mone hochilo jodi jiboner dukhho guloi erkm bhabe ure jeto !! jodi ichhegulo o erkm bhabe dana mele ure jete parto.. jete parto oi swopenr deshe...............
sono amra ki sobai,
swopno dekhte parina?

khub baje .. jata lyrics.. kissu hobe na. kintu amake aj dhoatei peyeche.. tai dhoasha hobe.. kichu korar nei.

ami bhebechilam onek kichui but eta bhabi ni j jibon ta boro bastab, ekhane romanticism er dhoa nei, ache kothin realityr agun... tai to dhoa ta ure jai, buk ta pure jai... roye jai chhai... swopner obosesh !!!
ta besh ta besh, kintu....
bristi- dhoa keno??
karon ei dhoa to bristir i.... ei dhoa ure jabe megher deshe.. amar bhalobasa nye, nye jabe amr buker agun .. nye jabe bristir kache,jodi bristi abar ase ei dhoa dekhe??!!

aj thke onek din age jokhho megh k dya bhalobasa pathyechilo, aj din bodleche, tai megher jaiga nebe amar buker chitar jola dhoa.... nye jabe oiiii dureee, bohudureeeee.. jekhane ache amar bristi....................

o ki asbe??? jodi ase dhoa nive jabe na tahole?? etai bodhoi jiboner ultimate paradox !!!!

abar dhoasha.. sorry guys !!

dhar kora chinta bhavna !!!

ami kothao ekta kobita porechilam. seta amar eto bhalo legechilo j ki bolbo. jeno amr moner kothaguloi keu likhche. tai setai ekhane tule dilam.. ekekbare word to word. eirkm open tokatukir jonnyo age theke khhoma cheye nilam, but ei kobitar krititto amake noi, sei onama lekhok er prapyo.. ami sudhu tar sristi k tomader samne tule dilam....



nahoi ami cholei jabo onek khani dur
tobu moner majhe bajbe naki
badhon chherar sur?
sei surete sur milie
ichhegulo dei j hana
bondho ghore kedei more
dana tader milte mana !!

nahoi ami obujh khub i chaoa paoar khelai,
tai ki bose hisab kosi
ekla bikelbelai?
sonaronger bikelgulo
ekhon sudhui holud lage;
jhora pata, bheja rumal
tai ki mone jage??

nahoi ami nai ba holam norom alor bhor;
tai bole ki neiko kothao
ektukhani jor?
j jorete chaichi ajo
akre dhorte hat.....
sesh na hoe berei chole
amar dirghotoro rat.

nahoi ami bolei choli, kichui hoito bujhis na;
sudhu bristi hoe jhorbo jokhon....
aral khujis na !!!

abaro bolchi e kobitar bindumatro krititto amr noi, ami sudhu arekjoner chinta tomader sathe tule dhorechi... karon eta amr chintar i protifolon bole mone hoeche. eta ethical noi, kintu kono kono somoy bodhoi ei boundary gulo k thik moto mene chola jai na. e jonnyo abaro khhoma cheye nichhi.

haoa bodol

ekta feedback pachhi ei blog er elkha nye j ekhane sob lekhai pessimistic ba onekta eki sader.. tai eta change korar onurodh asche. kintu e lekha to banano kichu na ekebare khaati moner kotha, etake to banano jai na. tobuo pathok chhara ki lekhoker kono ostitto thake??? tai pathokdr onurodh mathai rekhei ebr ektu onno sader lekhar try korlam... ba bola bhalo bhabar chesta korlam


ajke amr kotha na, tomader bolbo amr jiboner koeakta obhiggota... hoito tomader bhalo lagbe. egulo amr jibon k khub i influence koreche..

1. bhalobasa naki just crush?
amr dui bondhu r bandhobi chilo, tara eke opor k khub i bhalobasto, onek diner relationship chilo..umm prai 4 yrs. kintu meyetir caste chilo celetar theke nichu. tai cheler bari theke kono din o ei relation ta mene nei ni. ora dujon dujon k j khub i bhalobasto seta ami khub bhalo jani. kintu ki holo jano?? dujone dujon k onek obhijog korlo seshe, dujonei bollo opor joner choritro kharap !! seshe oder somporko tai bhenge gelo. chheleta khub i brilliant student chilo; or career ta ekebarei sesh hoe gelo; meyetao khub bhalo student chilo, or result o khub kharap holo ebong suicide attempt korlo... onekdin pore or sathe br amr dekha sedin... o amai bollo o naki ajk bojhe or relation ta chilo CRUSH !!!!

2. OSOB CNEMA TEI HOI


AREKTA GOLPO SONO. EKTI CHHELE AREKTI MEYEKE KHUB BHALOBASTO. KINTU JA HOI BOLE UTHTE PARE NI SAHOS KORE. MEYETAO BUJHTE PARTO. DUJONEI DUJONER KHUB BHALO BONDHU CHILO. EKDIN SEI CHHELETAKE PHONE KORE MEYETA BOLLO SHE GOT ENGAGED !! CHHELETA NIJER BUKE CHURI MERE BOLLO--- BAH KHUB BHALO TO!! KOBE TREAT DICHIS?? ........ HAI RE MURKHO CHHELE !!


PORE ONK DIN PORE SE OI MEYETAKE JIGGESH KORECHILO -- TUI KI JANTIS NA AMR MONER KOTHA?? MEYETA BOLECHILO -- HA, KINTU AMI KI KORE TOKE BHALOBASBO?? TOR KI FUTURE SECURED?? AMI JAKE BHALOBASI SE EKJON DACTER. TUI TO SADHARON ENGINEERING STUDENT; TR FUTURE ER KI GURANTEE ACHE???

EI OBHIJOG ER UTTOR SE SEDIN DITE PARENI, SE BOJHEI NI J BHALOBASAR MAP KATHI BHALOBASA CHHARO ARO KICHU HOTE PARE.. SEDIN NISCHOY BIDHATA TAR ARALAE KHUB HESECHILO.


TAI BOLI OSOB CINEMA TEI HOI BASTOBE NA !!!

BRISTI tor jonnyo.....

ei blog ta amr lekhar kotha chilo na . mejaj kharap na hole amar abar likhete ichhe kore na... but ki korbo ?? bristi'r onurodh....
ajek bristi hochhe abar
thik sei rater i moto
rupam geyeche na??? tai ajke abar likhchi... ajke golpo ta ekjon k dedicate korlam .... ummm dhora jak tar nam bristi, kemon?

jhor chole gelo. roye gelo oi ayala r pore sundorbon. bujhe nao. monoer sensor ta ebar sotorko besh.... jhor dekhlei palabe. ekbar besh haoa dite suru korlo ... dyechilam to bera ta besh sokto korei kintu etuku haoatei norbor kore uthlo.. bujhlam bhit ekhono sokto noi. kintu haoa pore gelo. bujhlam. janlam. bikelar haoa k jhor bole bhul korechi... bhalo kotha bacha gelo baba. ebar bhalo kore nouka chalano jak !!!!!!!!!
kintu oi j bole na--- man proposes , god disposes serkm darie gelo byaparta.abar eeshan kon kalo kore elo,biduyt jhoke uthlo...
guru guru oi ase oi oti bheirob horoshe

buuk kepe uthlo abaar... na bhoy e na, stobdho protikhhai.. dekhi ebar pale haoa lage kina naki abro pal jabe chhire??ebar bristi namlo... bhijlam abr.. notun kore dekhlam jibontake arekbar.. takie dekhalam abar ramdhonur rong, dekhlam gacher patai bristir jol... jeno chokher joler ekfota mukto, kintu ei jol ebar hasche; r kadche na... dekhlam sundor k
kach theke.................................... [ekhono dekhchi]


swopno puri te besh bhaloi chilam/achi
ami chai na bastob
ami chai swopno
ki hobe bastob nye????
jekhane bastob ta morubhumi sekhane jodi swopne ektukro morudyan dekhi seta ki kharap?? tui i bol bristi?? seta ki onnyai??

ami bachte chai re... bristike buke nye bachte chai... bol amake tui chole jabi na to amake fele???
ami dar baite baite klanto aj, ebar bodhoi ghat badhar somoy hoe elo... jodi ghat na pai tahole nouka tai dubie debo.... at least tateo paoa jabe sei bohu protikhhito santi, bishram . tokhon abr swopno dekhbo, ghumie.. sudhu e ghum r bhangbe na.. e swopno o r bhangate parbe na keu i.. emonki bristi tui o na,,
sekhane toke amar kach theke keu kere nite parbe na keuuuu naaaa....... sudhu ami r tui...!! chirodin !!!
ki moja !!!

EKUSHE FIRE DEKHA

dekhte dekhte aj ekushta borsa katie dilam e prithibi te.... pichol rastai onekbar i porechi, besh legeche... kintu bhogoban er ki aschoryo sristi manus.. o abar uthe darai.. kokhono peyeche haat kokhono paini... kintu thak se kotha

aj ekush bochore, jouboner darjai darie ekbar pichon fire dekhte vari ichhe kore... dekhte ichhe kore ki pelam ki pai ni... jiboner daripallai na paoar pallatai j beshi bhari hoe thakbe tate r sondeho ki??? kintu sotti i pai ni ki kichu.... paini ki amr bondhuder jader chhara ami osompurno?? pai ni ki amr family k jader jonnyo ami aaj ami?? pai ni jibone safolyo?? tahole dukhho ta kiser???????

dukhho ta j onek... oi dur bohudur akashe ure chola bazpakhir motoi ami ajo eka... eka eka poth chola tai...
ajke ami chai amr haat dhorar moto ekta haat ...
ami chai matha rekhe kadbar moto ekta kadh....
ami chai monkharap er dine amar mathai haat bulie debar moto ekta haat.....
ami chai amar bipoder somoy e amake sokto haate nya jaoar moto ekta haat....
ami chai amar sob kosto bhulie debar moto ekta voice....
ami chai abar jhor e bhese jete....
ami chai abar pagla haoar sathe uddam hote....
ami chai abr bristite bhijte.....
ami chai abar bhalobaste...
tomake sudhu tomake chai ami ..... tumi asbe amar kache???

anyway onek blogor blogor korlam.... happy(???) birthday to u... kothar kotha r ki

jhor

ager lekha ta bangla font e lekhai oneke dekhte pai ni. tai tader request e arekbar likhchi eta... ebar english horofe..
aponmonei moner moto songi khuje berachilam. proyojon er prosno obantor. hasikhusi thakatai bhalo thaka tokhon; kannar tatporjo bujhi na , othocho eke oprer poripurak.chokh bujlei swopno dekhi kintu tar rong acge kina ta kheyal kore dekhini. alpo golpetei khusi tokhon,chhonder dorakar bodh korini. kalbaishakhi dekhechi sudhu feel korini. tagore er kobita porechi, onudhabon korini. tai din kate diner moto , ami amar moto...... hothat...

hothat jhor uthlo. akash kalo kore aseni, stobdho opekhhao chilo na. tobuo se elo.
sei jhoro haoai matal ami haslam, kadte sikhlam. dhulo chilo na jhore, tobuo amr charidik dhaka porlo guro guro bhalo lagai. du hat choria sei guro makhte makhte bujhlam.... bhalobaste sikhechi. posla posla bristi namlo. e jiboner prothom borsone bhijlam pran bhore...


eksomoy jhor bollo.."cholo"
"kothai??".....ami bollam obaak hoe
"kothao ekta"

tarpor cholte cholte onekta poth peria elam. tokhon"uthali pathali amr buk, amar monete nai sukh". tai tar nam dilam "dukhhojagania". tar duchokh beye bristi nablo, tobuo chokhe lege hasi. sei bristite bhijlam... bhijte bhijte swopno elo, swopno dekhar duhsahos o elo. tarpor ekdin....
ekfali chader aloi take bollam...
"amar jhor"
"ami to sobar"..hastehaste bollo se
"tumi amar hobe??"

nimeshe jhor santo holo."ebar j amar ferar pala"... hasimukhe bollo se. dekhlam amar bohudiner chena jhor daira amar samne, kintu onno ek rupe; se ekhon santo, sitol. jhor k haranor bhoy e bollam " tomarsathe thakte thakte amio j aj jhoro haoa, e matal haoa ami eka ki kore samlai???"
omni dekhlam.. amar bohudiner chena jhor abar fire elo.. amar chul elemelo kore dya bollo hese "pagol chele, eka abr ki??? ami to achi... hoito jhor hoe noi, onno konobhabe, onno konokhane"

ami roilam opekhhai tomar.. abar kobe tumi asbe.. abar kobe mete uthbo domka ek haoai, abar tomar sathe bhijte bhijte jabo eksathe "kothao ekta".



JHOR ..... TOMAI DILAM AAJ